


there is happiness after you

by offgunnized



Series: evermore [2]
Category: Babii, Thai Actor RPF, offgun, ทฤษฎีจีบเธอ | Theory of Love (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:22:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28979559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/offgunnized/pseuds/offgunnized
Summary: After five years, Off crosses paths again with Gun, his groom who got away.
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Series: evermore [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125686
Kudos: 37





	there is happiness after you

**Author's Note:**

> the (unplanned lol) sequel of right where i left you (it’s time to go)

**Bangkok**

**December 2015**

“Gun, I have been in love with you ever since the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I wasn’t a believer of love at first sight, and I thought I never will be, but when I bumped into you that one afternoon outside the university, I knew right there and then that something in me clicked. I didn’t know that it was possible at first, but look at me now, six years later, still madly in love with you and still falling deeper everyday. It’s a rabbit hole that doesn’t have an end, and one I don’t have any plans of getting out of. I’ve proven my love these past years, let me prove it to you more, but now as your husband. I surrender everything to you, Gun Atthaphan. You were and will always be the miracle I didn’t know I needed.” 

Off’s hand was subtly shaking whilst holding the microphone when he finished his vows. The only sounds that followed after that were the faint sobs from the guests, and most particularly from Off’s best man, Tay, who was just standing behind him. Nevertheless, they all just sounded like bees buzzing for Off as all his focus was on Gun who was now looking at him back with emotions in his eyes that he couldn’t seem to read, or maybe because he just didn’t want to at all. 

“Gun, it’s your turn to say your vows.” The priest said. 

With a smile, and a nervous one at that, Off gave Gun the mic to which the latter slowly accepted. Off didn’t know why he’s feeling this way, like he’s standing on the edge of a cliff and anytime soon someone would push him from behind. Is it just normal to feel that way? Or perhaps, it’s because of the little things he noticed these past few weeks? 

“Off, I...” Gun started. He gave Off a brief smile and looked at the guests who, at this point, are staring at him with hope in their eyes and are waiting for his words so that they can cry again. Gun brought his stare back to Off. “I…” 

The moment Off saw tears slowly forming in Gun’s eyes, he already knew that he wouldn't be leaving the church today as Gun’s husband, and when Gun said his next words, it’s as if all of his worst fears materialized right in front of his very eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” 

The next thing Off heard was the sound of the microphone hitting the ground and Gun’s footsteps becoming fainter and fainter every passing second, until he wasn’t able to hear them anymore. 

Almost all of the guests stood up from their seats and the sound of Gun’s name echoed throughout the whole place. Off was sure that New, Gun’s best man, ran after the latter, but he couldn’t find it himself to run and chase the same person too. He wearily put both his hands on his waist and looked at the ceiling, attempting to stop the tears that were already blurring his vision, but to no avail. They still fell like acid rain on his cheeks and there is no way in hell that he could hide them from everyone who’s now looking so pathetically apologetic. 

“Peng! Will you not run after him?” Tay asked who’s now standing in front of Off, a mix of pity and panic present in his eyes. But before Off could even answer, his stare went to Alice who was still on her seat. 

_I’m sorry._ She mouthed whilst woefully shaking her head. 

Off calmly wiped his tears. With his eyes already red, he faced Tay. “No, Peng.” 

* * *

**Bangkok**

**January 2021**

“Babe, I might be coming home late.” 

_“Why? Everything okay?”_

“Yes. The rain is just pouring hard here and the traffic’s heavy as fuck.” 

_“You should have brought your car.”_

“It’s fine. I’ll be home before midnight, that’s for sure.” 

_“You better be.”_

Off laughed, amused by his wife’s nagging. “I love you. Don’t wait for me.” 

_“I love you too, babe, but no, I’ll wait for you. So hurry up and take care, okay?”_

“Okay.” Off smiled after cutting the call. 

He and Mild have been married for more than a year now, and so far, everything’s going smoothly between them, especially now that Mild is pregnant. Off has always wanted to be a father, and at some point in his life after that incident five years ago, he thought that he could never be one, nor even build a family for that matter. But here he is now, at 30, finally with a family he’s always dreamed of having. 

He looked outside and rested his head against the window. The rain has gotten stronger now, and despite the windows being tinted, Off was sure that it’s already barely visible outside. He closed his eyes and let the sound of the raindrops lull him to sleep. It probably won’t be an hour or two before he gets home so might as well just sleep first. 

But before Off could even have his slumber, the door on the other side of the car suddenly opened, making him immediately open his eyes and sit properly. The smell of Chinese takeout food filled the car, but there was no denying of that other sweet, familiar scent that had Off frozen on his seat. They say that out of all the senses, it’s the sense of smell that brings back the most memories, and it held true that moment because only one person came to Off’s mind, and it was further confirmed when the man started to talk.

“I’m really sorry for the intrusion but—”

“Gun?”

It has been years since Off last saw him, but other than the latter’s hair, it seemed like not much has changed. Gun still looked dashing as always despite his wet hair and haggard state, not to mention, the perfume that he used was still the same. Out of all the places they could possibly cross paths again, it really had to be here, in the same taxi, in the middle of the road and under the pouring rain. In the back of Off’s mind, he was laughing. 

“Off.” The surprise in Gun’s face is fairly evident too that it also took him a while to answer.

“You’re back. How are you?” He asked when he recovered from his surprise. 

“I’m fine, still feeling a bit jet lagged despite arriving two days ago. How about you?” 

“I’m good too. Tired, but good.” 

The driver asked something after that, and truth be told, he doesn’t mind sharing the ride with Gun, especially with the weather. The latter must have found no available taxi that he had to run towards one which was already occupied. The only funny thing is, it was him who was inside the car. After all these years, the universe still has its eccentric way of making them meet.

“So—” They said at the same time, making them laugh. 

“You first.” Gun remarked. 

They exchanged pleasantries, Gun holding the conversation as casually as he did, until silence took over. Off honestly doesn’t know how to proceed because in that very silence, all the things he spent years shoving to the back of his mind came rushing back again. 

From time to time, the image of Gun running away from him still hurts him, but it was the kind of pain that he knew didn’t matter anymore. He has Mild now. In retrospect, the fact that he was just a page in Gun’s book and also Gun in his would have broken him to more pieces, but Off has already long accepted it, and it made him happy that day when he didn’t deny it in himself that perhaps, all of it was for the better. 

But the thing is, oftentimes, the need for closure can really be too much. Needless to say that Off and Gun never had one, and now that they’re here in this confined space, the need for it suddenly resurfaced in Off. Questions after questions started piling up in Off’s mind, like why didn’t Gun at least give their relationship another try? Why did it seem so easy for him to just leave Off there that he didn’t even turn to look back, not even once? What was the thing that made him so scared of tying the knot with him? And… did Gun truly love him? 

_Fuck._ Off thought. He just wanted to come home in peace tonight as he got so busy and tired taking care of his nephew all day, yet here he is now, being bothered by things that should have already been long gone and forgotten. In the end, he was able to keep the questions from escaping his lips, foolishly thinking that they’d both get out of this ride without digging up the shards of the past that could possibly leave one or both of them wounded again. 

“I’m sorry, Off.” Gun suddenly muttered. 

Off had an idea of what Gun was talking about, but like the careful man that he is, he didn’t assume any further and just played along. “For what?” 

“You know, for running away.” 

Off sighed. He doesn’t know how this conversation will end but since Gun already started it, there’s no more escaping it now. “Oh, that.” 

“I’m sorry. I really am.” 

“It’s been five years Gun. I’ve already made peace with it, so I hope you do too.” 

“I did. I think. It still bothers me at times, though.” 

“Alright. If it’s any consolation for you, I forgive you.”

“You do?” 

Off felt the surprise in Gun’s voice that he turned around to face him. “Yes. In fact, I already forgave you the moment you ran out of those doors.” 

For a moment there, Off felt a pang in his heart. He suddenly remembered everything as if it all just happened yesterday. The mic. The look in Gun’s eyes. The gasps of the guests. 

“Why?” 

He gave Gun a very brief smile. “Because I already saw it coming. Weeks before our wedding, I felt it Gun. Your hesitation.” 

In all honesty, Off never saw before his future without Gun. The six years he spent with him were once the best years of his life, and Off just couldn’t imagine himself getting old and making memories with another person. So one night, just actually a random, usual night, when Gun was crying over a movie Off couldn’t even remember, Off decided to propose. He still didn’t have a ring back then, but calming Gun down and teasing him at the same time was the very thing that triggered him. 

_“Marry me.” Off suddenly blurted out._

_“What?” Gun’s eyes widened in shock, thinking that Off was just playing with him._

_“I said marry me.”_

_“Are you asking me or telling me?”_

_“Depends. I’d go with whatever that could take you to the altar with me.”_

_Gun cried even harder before pulling Off by his nape and giving him the kiss Off always craved. “Then yes, Mr. Adulkittiporn. I will marry you.”_

They both seemed so sure before, at least that’s what Off thought. That’s why it really puzzled him when he noticed Gun started to act so… different. At first, he just let it slide, thinking that his fiancé was just tired from work and all other excuses that could silence the demons that were screaming in his head. But as time passed by, Gun became more distant and indifferent to the point that Off often cried himself to sleep. 

“Actually, now that I think about it, I should apologize too.” Off said, suddenly remembering that one time he snooped on Gun. 

“What do you mean?” Gun asked whilst tilting his head, a gesture Off knew Gun was fond of doing whenever he’s confused.

“Three days before the big day, I took your phone. You were taking a bath and your phone was just… there. That time my anxiety was already at its peak, and I needed to do something that could ease it. So I read your messages, and that particular one you sent to Alice, it broke me, Gun. It fucking broke me.”

_To: Alice Tsoi_

_I’m just a little confused Alice. I still want to do a lot of things, and I’m not sure if marrying Off is the best thing to do right now. What if I get tired of him, and he of me? Where will we pick ourselves after then?_

“Off, I… Sorry.” 

“I was so sure of you back then, you know?” Off gave out a brief laugh. “And it hurt to know that you weren’t feeling the same.”

“It wasn’t—“ 

“But I didn’t care, Gun,” Off interjected, shaking his head. It’s like all the pain and anger that he kept away for a long time suddenly found an outlet, and this is it. This is the moment. “It was very selfish of me that way, but I didn’t care. I guess I just loved you too much that I set that one aside, thinking that after we say our vows, I could prove to you that you can still be you. That nothing would change.”

“Off, it was just nothing but wrong choice of words.” 

Gun’s remark made Off laugh, but he was quick to apologize when he noticed Gun’s silence. “Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. It’s just that, you can be true to yourself now.” 

He wasn’t lying. He was just both amused and sad how Gun still couldn’t admit his uncertainty to himself. If this was years ago then Off would probably be bawling his eyes out right now, but as what they say, time heals all wounds, and it truly healed Off’s. At times when it gets poked, the pain does linger, but not as much as Off would do something about it. He has gotten numb and accepting of it over time, and the life that he has now, with Mild and their baby, really helped him in finding happiness he once lost. 

“Come on Gun, it’s not like it still matters, right?” He bumped Gun’s shoulder to ease the tension. 

“Right,” Gun smiled at him. “I actually met someone.” 

“Really?” 

Off was expecting for a pain to strike, but nothing came. It’s not only because he already knew Gun’s going to find someone he’d settle down with too, but more than that, he’s genuinely happy for him, and how he thinks both of them are successfully moving on with their lives. 

“Yes. Back in the States.” 

“I’m happy for you, Gun. Though I couldn’t really say that I’m shocked.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, duh. You’re a catch, and you should know it by now.” 

A shy smile formed on Gun’s lips when he rolled his eyes, making Off laugh. The former still gets all shy whenever he receives a compliment. “Still the sweet talker, I see. How about you? Did you meet someone?”

Off smiled, suddenly remembering his pregnant wife who’s waiting for him at home. “I did, and she’s really amazing.” He showed his ring to Gun. 

Off saw a sudden change of emotion in Gun’s eyes, more like a shock but felt something more. He just shrugged it off, thinking that it’s just his mind overthinking the simplest things again. 

“Who’s the lucky girl?” 

“Mild. In fact, we’re expecting a baby.” 

“Really?”

“Yup,” Off took out his phone and showed the wallpaper to Gun. “We’re expecting to see the little version of her in two months.”

“She’s beautiful, Off.” 

“She is, isn’t she?” Off couldn’t help but stare at the screen, still in disbelief how he has gotten so lucky to have someone as precious as Mild. “She’s really kind, too.

“I suppose she is. When did you guys meet?”

“Three years ago, at work. We got engaged a year after, and got married after another year.”

Memories of him and Mild bickering came flashing back to Off. That was actually how they met. Mild was just a newly hired manager back then, one who has a strong personality, and the first conversation she had with Off was their quarrel over a stapler that she thought Off took without her permission. 

It wasn’t exactly as magical as when he met Gun, but Off loves her, and perhaps at some point he saw a piece of Gun in her, with them both being strong-willed and all that. But the fact of the matter is, Off saw Mild as her own person, and it wasn’t long before he fell in love with her.

“I’m happy for you, Off. And I’m glad that despite… you know, despite what happened, you still chose to love again.” 

“Truth is, you weren’t easy to forget, Gun,” Off admitted. “But she was easy to love.”

They felt the car stop. Off was so engrossed with their conversation that he didn’t even realize they were already in front of his house. “I guess I’ll see you around then?” Off asked Gun after paying the fare. 

Gun smiled at him, giving him a peek of his dimple that Off once treated as his star. “Yes. You take care, Off. And congrats for the baby! You’ll be a great father.”

“Thank you Gun. I appreciate that. You take care, too.” 

That was the last thing he said before closing the door. Off approached Mild who is now rubbing her belly whilst waiting at their gate. He gave her a brief kiss on her lips and the furrow on her brow slowly straightened. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” 

Mild pouted. “I’m not. I just missed you.” 

That earned a laugh from Off. He wrapped her arms around her shoulders and playfully ruffled her hair as they made their way inside their house. “I was just gone for a day, babe.” 

“Still.” 

“You’re so cute,” Off gave her another kiss on the lips before closing their gates, but before he could even lock them, he opened them again and took a peek outside. 

The taxi Gun was in was slowly getting smaller as it moved farther away. For a second there, it reminded him of what happened five years ago, when Gun ran back to the aisle until he reached the doors and left. 

“What is it?” Mild asked. 

Off subtly shook his head and briefly smiled. He finally locked the gates and faced his wife, gently pulling her by the waist in the process. “Nothing. I just remembered an old friend.” He kissed her on the forehead, the what ifs and the could have beens in his mind slowly vanishing. 

* * *

**California, USA**

**December 2016**

Cold winds stung Off’s face as he walked past building apartments in a certain neighborhood in San Francisco. He was already wearing a beanie, a jacket and hoodie underneath yet he’s still freezing. He checked again the address that Pim gave him and saw that he was only two buildings away. He continued walking whilst his phone was already blowing up with notifications and messages from his friends, probably because they just learned that his impulsive ass was in US now. 

Off stopped when he saw the letters _221B_ on the building on his right. “Finally.” 

He climbed up the stairs and pushed the doorbell that rested just beside the wooden door. It didn’t take a minute before a woman, probably in her late 30’s or early 40’s, opened the door. “Excuse me but is there a certain Gun Atthaphan living here?” 

“Yes. His apartment’s upstairs,” The lady answered kindly before going out the door. It looked like she’s on her way out based on her clothes. “Who’s asking?” 

“Oh, I’m his, uhm… friend.” Off smiled. “Is he here?” 

“Not yet, but he’ll be here soon. He often comes home at 7 or 8.” 

“Okay, thanks.” 

“Do you want to go inside first?” 

“No, it’s okay. I’m taking a smoke anyway.” 

“Alright. I’m gonna buy me some dinner. Don’t worry, Gun will come home any minute now.” The lady answered before sauntering down the stairs. Off followed right after, settling himself on a spot beside the stairs and then taking out a stick of cigarette from his pocket. He lit it up before checking his phone. 

_Tay: WHAT THE FUCK OFF JUMPOL_

_Alice: is it true?_

_Arm: you’re such an asshole, you should’ve taken us with you_

_Tay: if Pim didn’t inform us we wouldn’t even know_

_Tay: are you there for Gun?_

_Arm: duh Tay of course he’s there for Gun_

_Alice: have you found him already, Off?_

_Tay: that’s it, I’m calling_

Off’s phone lit up with their group chat’s name for a call. Puffing a smoke, he answered it. 

“Hey.” 

_“Hey yourself, where are you?”_

“California.” 

_“You really came all the way from Bangkok to fucking California to find Gun?”_

Off heaved a deep sigh. “Yes.” 

He had no idea why he just found himself booking a flight to US two days ago. Perhaps, the agony of missing Gun was just too much for him that he couldn’t resist it anymore. He needed to see Gun. If Off needs to beg Gun to come back to him then he will, but should Gun refuse, then maybe his answers will suffice. The whole year has been rough for Off that some nights he still couldn’t sleep because his mind just kept on asking where and how did things go wrong. They were the happy couple once, spending most of their days planning and dreaming together. How the hell did it all end up with Gun running away from their wedding? 

_“Well?”_

“Well what?” 

_“Did you find him?”_

Before Off could even answer, he heard a familiar laugh. He left his spot to look over the other side where he figured the sound was coming from. Off, with a hopeful heart, was about to answer ‘yes’ to his friend when he saw not only Gun, but another man walking beside the latter. Off stopped on his tracks, and fortunately, before Gun could even see him, he was quick to hide back on his spot. “I’ll call y’all back.” He whispered and cut the call. 

“Thank you for today. I enjoyed it.”

That voice. It was that voice Off has been wanting to hear for a year now. 

“You’re welcome.” The other man answered. 

Off was still hiding on the corner of the stairs whilst Gun and the other guy were already walking up. There were plants and ornaments on the rails so it was nearly impossible for them to see Off from where they were standing. 

The next thing Off heard almost killed him, the sound of Gun’s lips colliding with that of the man’s. It felt like he was just in a nightmare, but worse. It’s real. It’s here. It’s happening. And he listened to every second of it. 

Off didn’t even realize that tears were already falling down his cheeks. He thought that Gun leaving him that day was the worst thing that could possibly happen to him, but he didn’t know that the sight and the idea of Gun with someone else was more painful than he expected. 

Gun looked happy. He sounded happy. If he truly loves Gun, then he wouldn’t take that away from him. And so he didn’t. 

That night, after he heard the door close, Off left. He was just grateful that along the way, he crossed paths again with the lady he met earlier. “Please don’t tell Gun I came, that anybody came.” 

“Is everything alright?” She asked. 

“Yes,” Off smiled. “Something just came up is all.” 

“Oh, okay. You take care then.” 

Off politely nodded to the lady and walked away. He took out his phone and messaged his friends. 

_To Tay, Arm, Alice:_

_I didn’t find Gun. I’m coming home tomorrow._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading <3 send me your thoughts 🥰


End file.
